Trianing with Girls

Author Comments
Kieran Regular 107 posts
When I first start jujitsu.I had serious problems trianing with girls.You where always nervous about using to much force.
And I found ground work difficult because I was worrying to much where to grab the higher female belts had me tied in nots.Anyone esle any comments on the subject.
Robsco 1319 posts
I remember the exact same thing, but then i thought about it...

They're training just like me, they're obviously not gonna mind accidental grabs or occasional too much force, if they do then they'd mention it to ya before sparring.

If they don't mention it then to me that would indicate they're here for true self-defence and probably wouldn't want ya to hold back.

Well that's the way I saw it anyway, and no complaints so far. --------------------------------------------- Robsco! - The Site Administrator 'I'm sure your style is impressive on other planets, however, your weak link is that this is Earth'
The Admin Guy
sentinal Regular 21 posts
I'm a girl and I hate it when guys hold back on me. I'm not a rough street kinda girl, but when it comes to training we are all equal. You are the enemy and I'm attacking or defending. If the girls have graded then I'm sure they want to be treated just like everyone else.
My Sensei taught me this: 'THE WAY YOU TRAIN, IS THE WAY YOU FIGHT'. So if you're going to hold back now, there's no point training, is there????????????? This art comes with alot more than fighting.
This art comes with alot more
The Mauler Newbie 3 posts
I’m also a girl, and I would have to agree with the previous posts. While I can understand why it may happen, I find it frustrating when training with a partner who holds back. Makes it hard to train effectively. Miss-aimed grabs and the like are not a problem, we are are there to train, I wouldn't construe is any other way. I am imbued with the power, the power of 50 lemons!
I am imbued with the power, th
Kieran Regular 107 posts
Thanks for your comments.I only had a problem when i first started jujitsu.My sensi at oakleaf jujitsu which is a traditional form of jujitsu and he is a fantastic instructor and also a sixth dan tried to get me around this problem.
But mentally I just couldnt hurt a girl and the old doughts started creeping in which clouded my mind and jugement.
So a friend sent me to an other club which the the sensi is a third dan black belt in jujitsu but is also known as a bit of a rogue in the MA world and would and has used dirty tricks jujitsu as well as street fighting.
Not my way of doing things but I wanted to get things sorted out.So he put me on the mats with a black belt called Jane.Jane after a kumta manged to sprain my wrist.
I came back a few weeks later giving my wrist time to heal and fought her again.I was told before hand that there would be no tapping out and the fight would continue until she pinned me or I pinned her.After an exausting ten minutes I managed to pin her and havent had a problem with trianing with girls since.

She also told me she would rather trian with men as they where easier to judge.But thanks for your help and advice.........Kieran

Tethydcan Newbie 8 posts
I found training with women to be much funner except when they just lie there. Who really want to get sweaty and wrestle with another guy. =) Some of us think holding on makes us strong; but sometimes it is letting go.
Some of us think holding on ma
Jaz Newbie 6 posts
I am the only girl in my BJJ class (where I have trained for about 5 months ).

I find that I am often the one left out when there is an odd number in the class, or training in a three. In sparring, I have to be pro-active and invite the guys to spar with me other wise I would be spending my time sitting on the side.

This was never a problem when I trained in Trad. JJ, where gender was irrelevant.

So, BJJ guys, be honest - is getting paired up with the girl in the class the bum deal? Is it that you think you won't learn as much, it will be too easy, not enough resistance? or is it just nerves about being too agressive or getting your head trapped where it shouldn't be ? !! (if she's on the dojo she does not care about that !)

Also, if I am equal to the guy the training is equal, if they are bigger and heavier the sparring often turns into 'advice'. Sometimes this can be good, other times I just want to learn by doing just like the other guys.


Uke4Life Newbie 4 posts
All martial artists need the same things from their instructors and their training partners.

First and foremost is completely giving your students and partners your very best effort, whether as uke or tori.

I think that this is entirely possible and desirable.
Robsco 1319 posts
I'd totally agree with that, if a woman is on the mat, then she wants exactly the same thing out of training you do, don't get so strung up about it!

We're all there to train under different circumstances no matter what.

I love to fight all the newbies simply for the crazyness they bring to the mat, i like to train with women cos they might not always have the strength, but they're working more technique, and will catch you out.

I know i've been SEVERELY arm-barred in the past to a woman.

It simply builds your skill, training with everyone, sex, colour, etc. should have nothing to do with it.
The Admin Guy
Dave Addict 183 posts
Guys who dont like training with women are immature fools, full stop!

Sexist people do my head in.:-X
Postman Pat, Postman Pat, Post
Gogs Newbie 8 posts
Just try to imagine your worst enemy in their place... you can worry about how much force you have used afterwards ^^
Only the dead see the end of w
Ryu Regular 47 posts
Dave, if you dont mind my saying so, the comment about men who dont train with women being "immature fools" comes accross as just a tad narrow minded.

In life we dont generally get too much of a choice about who we fight, if your adversary is adamant about picking a fight with you. You do however have a choice about who to train with.

Many women dont wish to train with men, and many men wish not to train with women. Anyone who wants to 'cross train' and has a willing partner is can happily do so, but we should refrain from imposing our views on everyone.

An individual can only ever see a single facet from where they are standing. Never assume all other facets will look the same as the one you are looking at.

Ken is good, but Ryu is bett
sl Resident 855 posts
Chill out Ryu , i think he meant that if your on the mat and your paired with a girl but ure too scared to throw them or strike cos there a girl then your being immature.. If there on the mat they are there for the same reason as you and if they didnt like it they wouldn do it :-p
Bassmonger Resident 198 posts
The main difference when sparring with women instead of men is that you can't make gay jokes when they accidentally touch your genitals.

Maybe I should have put 'accidentally' in inverted commas.

Dave Addict 183 posts
Yes i am quite narrow minded Ryu, in the fact that i tend to block out bulls#*t.
Sl is right. Doesnt matter who's on the mat, male or female big or small everyones there to train! How would you like it if everyone in your club or wherever you train decided not to train with you?

Simple answer:- Roll with everyone. ;-)
Postman Pat, Postman Pat, Post
Ryu Regular 47 posts
I'm happy to train with anyone Dave, but I can appreciate that many people would have reservations.

People are not all the same, you cant expect everyone to have the same approach as you. What you define as BS may actually be a valid reason, just need to look at things with a broader view. I once knew someone that couldn't train with the opposite sex due to a hormone problem. A close proximity would result in a hormonal imbalance that produced undesirable results.

My apologies if I offended you, and sl makes a good point too, but its always a shame when we try to impose our views/opinions on others.

Perhaps a better approach would be to recognise that if an individual doesn't WANT to train with the opposite sex, then they have a reason for this. It could be anything from timidity to modesty to medical reasons or even as you say, just ignorance. Best practice in my opinion would be to work with them and try to address any issues they may have, and if they still choose not to train with the opposite sex then have respect for their opinion. :o)

Ken is good, but Ryu is bett
Sweaty Gi Moderator 120 posts
I must agree, not everybody's the same. Some lose all confidence when it comes to girls.

I know Bassmonger has problems as soon as he gets within 10ft of someone of the opposite sex.

He can't even look em in the face while training.
Bassmonger Resident 198 posts
That's some good form right there. The good old "smell me finger, love" look what I'm about to do with the leg. You can't teach that sort of thing. Thankfully.

Besides, I've learned a lot in the 2-3 years since that photo was taken. Specifically that "smell me finger, love" is not something the ladies want to hear.

Robsco 1319 posts
The Admin Guy
Sweaty Gi Moderator 120 posts
It looks she's passed out.

If it has that kinda affect on the ladies, I wouldn't recommend it.